You will never see me struggling to breathe in and out,
Excruciatingly feeling every time you were alone,
You were stuck in a void of absolute anguish,
And drowning in a sea made of sand.
I laid on my bathroom floor not able to stop the tears,
Every other breath was a sob begging for your life,
For the realization of your heart.
Do the drugs really make it better?
You crave the moment where you will be numb,
Oblivious to the wreck of your heart,
For a moment you can see a light at the end of the tunnel,
Or is that just the burning of another cigarette?
My heart shattered,
And when I thought it was done,
It broke into even more pieces that it turned straight to dust.
Oh I haven’t prayed this hard in so long,
I couldn’t stop the words,
How do I pray for another’s soul?
How do I begin?
Make obvious the oblivion encapsulating their heart.
Make obvious the oblivion.
It felt like hours I lay in silence,
The cold tile making my legs like ice and imprinting them with lines,
The only sound were my tears hitting the floor and my tired mouth muttering shaky whispers mustering all my faith for your life.
When my hands stopped shaking,
I looked in the mirror and it sounded like God said to me,
This is why you’re like you,
This is why I created you with a heart people say has too much compassion.
I don’t know if it was God,
Or just me reassuring myself,
But I felt for a sliver of a moment that maybe I understood my purpose.
I realize you will never see me crying out for you,
But I hope you feel it.